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Summary:
Have you ever noticed that some people are just more interesting to be around and talk to than others? When you’re making an effort to get ahead in life, isn’t it important to be thought of as somewhat interesting? Being able to engage in thoughtful conversation with a wide range of people is an important skill to have. It will allow you to connect meaningfully with a variety of people and potentially open up opportunities that you weren’t even aware existed.
You don’t have to be the most interesting man or woman in the world. But being able to carry on a conversation with intelligence and clarity is important. You can improve your conversation skills by reading broadly on a range of topics that interest you, and which may also be of interest to others. Also, make an effort to keep up with current local and world events.
Another key aspect is learning to be a good listener. Being a good listener shows that you are interested in the person with whom you are speaking. And by showing you are interested in others, you in turn make yourself more interesting.
Also, remember to ask open-ended questions and give the other person room to reply so that the conversation can develop organically. You can practice the skill of active listening by being present in the conversation and not letting distractions, such as mobile phones, get in the way. Also, observe the other person’s gestures and movements for clues about how they are feeling.
Developing these skills will help you to improve and expand your communication and connections with others. If you are making an effort to get ahead in life, you’ll find the more connections you make, the more opportunities will present themselves, and you’ll be on the road to living rich.
Transcript:
Have you seen the Dos Equis beer commercials with the middle-aged man that has a white beard? He is always pictured surrounded by beautiful women, having amazing adventures with the description: “He is the most interesting man in the world.” That’s quite a statement! Why do they call him that?
To quote a few lines from the ads:
- “The last time he flirted with danger, danger got clingy.”
- “He once got a standing ovation from a juror’s box.”
- “His Thank You cards have prompted, Your Welcome cards.”
- “He’s trained canaries in the art of falconry.”
- “He once gave a pep-talk so compelling both teams won.”
- “When he whispers to a horse, the horse whispers back.”
There are more quotable lines but I’ll stop there. It has been an amazingly powerful ad campaign for the beer company!
The X Factor
I can’t say that any of those quotes apply to me or anyone else really, except the Dos Equis man. But, have you ever noticed that some people are just more interesting to be around and talk to than other people? What is it that makes some people more interesting than other people?
Be Informed
Maybe a better point is that if you want to get ahead in life, it’s best to be thought of as at least somewhat interesting. You don’t have to be the most interesting man or woman in the world, but being able to carry on a conversation with intelligence and clarity is important. This might mean keeping up on some broad-based knowledge of events from around the world or locally depending on the people you currently happen to be talking with.
One of best things you can do is read. Be continually reading books and articles that are interesting to you and may be of interest to others. I am currently on a mission you yourself might like to consider. The mission is to read one book a week. Think about it. Most of the books I‘m reading average just over 200 pages. Some are more, some less. But that’s only reading about 30 pages a day. By breaking it down into smaller tasks it becomes manageable.
Reading can help you fit into social situations, which can actually create opportunities for you and/or your business that you may never have thought possible.
I had a situation not too long ago when my wife and I were traveling in Europe with some acquaintances from a social group that we belong to. As it turned out, one of the members of the group lived in California and knew a very prominent businessman in Vancouver. That businessman ended up hiring my daughter for a fantastic job just after she graduated from University. This job will likely set her career years ahead. My friend simply made the introduction, and she was able to get the job because of her great credentials.
If I had been meek or not prepared to talk with people around me, this opportunity may never have come to pass. Instead, by hopefully being interesting and also interested in them, this opportunity for my daughter arose in a very natural way, and the necessary connections were made.
Communication Skills
So what can you do to be interesting to others? As I mentioned, being in touch with world events and reading books as much as you possibly can will certainly help. Also, one of the best things you can do during a conversation with someone is to ask questions of the people you’re speaking with. Now you don’t want to ask simple straightforward yes and no type questions. You want to ask questions that are open-ended, that when responded to get you a prolonged answer. This usually gives you even more to talk about and lets the conversation flow naturally. These types of answers help keep the conversation going and show that you are interested in that person. And when you become interested in someone they will more often become interested in you or at least find you interesting.
Now that said, one of the things you don’t want to do is monopolize the conversation. So once you’ve asked a question let the person fully answer it without interruption and then let someone else speak as well. As the saying goes, “you were given two ears and one mouth for reason.” Listen twice as much as you speak.
People will come away from the conversation saying something like, “that was a very interesting person,” and they won’t necessarily know exactly why they’re thinking that. However they will be thinking it. The reason why is that you have shown genuine interest in them and you listened as they spoke.
Being a Great Listener
Listening is a learned skill and one to practice if you’re not good at it. You can go online to learn how to listen better. And actually, when you learn to listen better, you learn better as well. If listening is a bit of a challenge, do the search, “how to listen better” and you’ll find some great resources that can help you become a proficient listener.
One of the keys to listening better is actually being present in the conversation. What I mean by being present is being 100% involved and focused on the conversation at hand. Don’t let outside influences distract you from the conversation you’re having. Don’t let your cell phone get in the way. Don’t be texting while talking with somebody. That is definitely not being present in the situation. And how often do you see that these days?
There’s actually a term for the type of listening that I am talking about; it’s called “active listening.” It’s related to listening with intention, the intention of truly hearing what the person says so you can respond with interest. Another part of active listening is also being observant of the other person’s gestures and movements. They can give you clues as to how the person is feeling as they speak to you.
Be Yourself
If you happen to be a funny person, using humor when talking with people can make you interesting also. However don’t go out of your way to try and be funny if you aren’t, because it can backfire. Just be yourself. People see through people that are being phony or just putting on a façade. So it really is best to just be yourself.
So just because you don’t light your cigar with the flames from a dragon, if you’re not the Dos Esquis man or woman or the most interesting person in the world, you can quite likely be the most interesting person in the room by following a few simple techniques.
So until next time, drink responsibly if you drink and Live Rich!
