Summary
Influence is key to creating win-win relationships with the people in your life. From your significant other to business partners and potential customers, having the ability to craft influence will bring you extraordinary results.
In this article I’ll be sharing my three tips to boost your influence and build relationships of value with the people around you. As a person of influence, you’ll be able to present and speak with authority, clearly define your message and have people willingly jump onboard with your ideas.
Those who truly understand influence have the power to persuade others and be in control of any situation. Those who do not and cannot harness influence, hand themselves over to the decisions of others.
Once you master influence, you will have the capacity to cause an effect on someone’s character, development or behavior. It will allow you to receive the love and appreciation you deserve and earn you respect. In the business realm, this skill will result in closing more deals, winning over new customers and retaining them through loyalty, and commanding more wealth in your life.
While influence is a powerful method to get what you want, it must be used with integrity. Not simply because this is the morally correct way to do things, but also because it just makes good business sense.
In the long run, your integrity is what will earn you loyal customers and employees, expand your influence, keep your business booming and the money flowing. Master the craft of influence and apply it with integrity, so you too can live rich and achieve all that you want out of life.
Transcript
One of the keys to success in life and wealth is building relationships of value. Whether it’s with your nearest and dearest, business partners or potential customers, being able to create win-win relationships is dependent on your ability to influence.
With influence you have the power to persuade others and be in control of any situation. Alternatively, when you don’t understand how to harness influence, you hand yourself over to the decisions of others.
Understand the Craft
You see, influence is a tricky thing to master. It’s about having the capacity to cause an effect on someone’s character, development or behavior. When you truly understand the craft of influence, you’ll be able to earn the respect you deserve and receive more love and appreciation for who you are. Not only is this invaluable to a happy personal life, it will inevitably spill into your finances, allowing you to close more deals, win over new customers and command more wealth. In short, influence will allow you to achieve extraordinary performance in your life.
Now influence is not about manipulating people to your advantage. We are not in the business of tricking others. While I’m fully aware that there are many people who misuse their influence for their personal gain, I am in no way condoning it nor do I recommend you take this path.
Have Integrity
Everything I do, I do with integrity. Not just because morally it’s the correct thing to do, but also from a business perspective, it just makes sense. For example, if a person were to abuse their influence and trick people into joining a scheme that promised them major returns in investment, all with the knowledge that it was scam, how many of those willing first time customers do you think would be happy with the outcome? How many of those customers would recommend the scheme, leave good reviews of the person and become a loyal returning customer? Not a single one.
In the long run, integrity is what will keep your customers, clients and partners returning to you, raving about your business, sharing and selling for you. But to capture their attention initially and show them, with unquestionable authority and clarity, what your message is and how it will add value to their lives, you must be able to wield the power of influence.
You see influence is not about being deceptive. It’s so much deeper than natural charisma. Influence is a learnable skill and one that I will be teaching you today. Just keep in mind that when you do use influence, you do so with integrity.
1. Your Attitude
Let’s talk about one of the most influential people in the world – Oprah Winfrey. What is it about Oprah that draws audiences in? Why is it that people actively seek her opinions and approval?
One of the highlights for Oprah fans used to be her end-of-year show, called “Oprah’s Favorite Things,” where she would literally tell audiences what her favorite things were. Back in 2002, a bakery in South Florida, called We Take the Cake, was struggling to stay in business. In 2004, Oprah listed their Key Lime Bundt Cake as one of her “favorite things.” The bakery was inundated with requests, their phone lines were ringing off the hook and their website crashed from receiving too many visitors. Since that mention on her show, We Take the Cake turned things around and has received multiple features on the Food Network, websites and in print publications. That is influence.
I believe the first step to gain influence comes from your attitude and the way you present yourself. If you want to be respected and really own influence, lead by example. Influencers are willing to do what is asked of others.
Be positive. People naturally gravitate to things that make them feel good. By being a positive person, someone who supports and nurtures, people will come to associate you with feeling good and thus seek you out.
When faced with something that upsets you, such as your employee submitting sub-par work or even your husband not taking out the trash, it is a natural reaction to get angry and point out the flaws. Change your attitude by changing your approach. Rather than launching directly into a critique, point out what they did well or compliment them on a strength you know they have and then suggest how to improve or fix a problem.
Your aim is to build long lasting relationships. By losing your temper, being pessimistic or overly critical, you may get your own way but it will damage that relationship. It is absolutely essential that you understand the best way of getting your way is by enabling others to see how it will benefit them.
2. Build Rapport
Good rapport is the foundation of all successful interactions, both personal and professional. Remember that people do business with people they know, like and trust. Identify the person’s values through friendly conversation.
A mistake that people often make in trying to be the “leader” is that they talk at the person, rather than to the person. It becomes a monologue. And because the other person isn’t given any time to speak, that “leader” assumes he has influence and authority.
Make eye contact, be personable and never talk down to anyone. Find a common interest, it could be sports, vacation spots, kids, anything. Ask open-ended questions and genuinely listen to their answers. Through their answers you will be able to analyze how they express themselves; are they visual, auditory or kinesthetic? Understand their languaging and mirror their speech. Match their body language and movements casually so they feel at ease.
You want to build rapport and establish a connection with that person. When you achieve this and the person not only likes you, but also feels as though you understand them and are like them, then you’ll find they will act in your favor. Use questions to guide the person to your offer or way of thinking. Allow them to reach your conclusion on their own, rather than telling them what to do directly.
3. Be Authentic
Honesty and authenticity are what will give you influence on a long-term basis. Trying to influence someone to sign on a deal or to purchase a product will be successful if you are honest about what that person is getting into. The worse thing you can do is make false promises and outrageous claims that you have no intention of fulfilling or that you simply don’t know how to fulfill.
Go for the approach of under promising and then over delivering. When you show people that you are true to your word, they’ll be more inclined to follow you and allow themselves to be influenced by you.
So if you’re promoting a product or service, do it from a place of authenticity. Don’t promote something you’ve never used yourself just so that you can make a sale or get a commission. Do your homework and select only the best offers that will genuinely add value or solve a problem in your customer’s life.
When it comes to dealing with your staff or business partners, honesty will keep communication open and allow people the freedom to express themselves in non-confrontational ways. If you think an idea or direction of an employee is going is wrong, tell them with tact. Redirect their attention to your way of thinking by asking them questions that will lead them to your answer.
You, the Influencer
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have been an influencer your whole life. From the time you were a baby, even before you could string a sentence together, I am sure you had the power to influence. As an infant, you likely influenced an adult to carry you by getting their attention and raising your arms up.
In the schoolyard I’m sure there were times when your friends wanted to play a game but you had a better idea. Negotiating and “selling” your idea to them is a form of influence. Especially if you found you consistently got your way.
Now that you’re an adult, it’s time for you to understand what lies beneath influence so that you can develop the skill that can turn a lead into a customer and working staff into a loyal family.
Start small and remember the three tips I shared with you: having a positive attitude, the importance of building rapport and being authentic. As you become used to using these strategies, you’ll find it easier to influence, spread your message and give back to the world.
