Summary
We all like to style ourselves as heroes and world champs. The pull of the myth of the lone warrior is strong – it’s why we gravitate to inspirational stories of individuals who prevail alone over great odds.
The image makes for a nice story, but the reality is almost always a bigger picture – one that involves the support and help of mentors in order to succeed. You may think that you can get where you want on your own, but I assure you that can land there much faster if you are benefitting from and learning from the experience of a mentor from the beginning.
So how do you identify the right person to be a mentor? And how do you make sure that you are using your time together to the most productive degree possible, ensuring that you both are getting what you want out of it?
Read on to learn more on identifying and making the most of your mentors and the potential mentors in your field.
Transcript
You didn’t get here on your own, did you?
It might be humbling to admit it. Many of us pride ourselves are making our own way in the world. We know how hard we have worked and don’t like anyone else deciding how our rewards are spent. But if we look back at our journeys and how far we have come, it will be impossible to ignore the influence of those in our lives who have helped guide us and support us along the path.
Mentors Matter
Mentors come in all shapes and forms, of course. Coaches, teachers, bosses – these may be the figures that first rush to mind, esteemed figures of gravitas and learning, patiently helping to guide you in the ways of your profession. You may not quite believe that you have even had a mentor if such a figure does not immediately come to mind. But what about that classmate who always took the time to help explain the assignment? Or the colleague who helped you acclimate to a new office when they didn’t have to extend you such kindness? Or the friend who always had a waiting ear and open mind to consider your latest business venture? These are all mentors as well.
We don’t always like to admit it. It’s why we lionize the notion of the self-made man. We all love a good Horatio Alger story of the steely hero, staring down adversity and persevering against great odds all on his own. Very few very successful people were able to ascend the rungs on the ladder all on their own without a few very strategic pushes up that ladder. The complication is that such stories are more myth than truth. Most self-made people are in actuality the sum of their experiences and environment, which is indelibly shaped by those who spend time around. This is why it is so critical to make sure that you are surrounding yourself with the right people! If you are the total of the ten people you spend the most time with, do everything you can to ensure that those ten people are optimistic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Making full use of a mentor or simply someone to bounce ideas off of can make an enormous difference in helping you attain the success that you seek. How many of us look back on our younger selves and lament how much we wish we would have known then? This is the beauty of mentors – we can benefit from the wisdom and learned perspectives from their experiences, without having to make their mistakes ourselves. It can take years of training and stumbling around to learn all of the insights that you can gleam from a short conversation with a trusted mentor. They can help you steer clear of road blocks and pitfalls that you might not have otherwise seen in your way.
Pair Your Fresh Ideas and Energy with Experience and Wisdom
The up-and-coming in the workforce have the virtues of energy and optimism about how to approach their problems that are unfettered by naysaying and doubt. Elders, however, bring greater wisdom and perspective – how to prioritize time most effectively, how to determine which battles are worth waging, and how to balance pursuing one’s professional goals with building happiness in the present. (Not to suggest that all mentors need to be older, of course – you may find that you can learn a great deal about an entirely different field or skill by learning from a younger colleague.)
I advise you to spend the time actually getting to know a flesh-and-blood person or two to serve as a mentor. There surely are a wealth of excellent “virtual” resources out there that can explore, including learning from resources online, at your local library, and speakers at a regional Chamber of Commerce. But there is nothing quite like that experience of engaging upfront with a mentor in real-time who can provide you customized and specific feedback and advice based on your particular situation.
You may be unsure of what skills and strategies you need to employ in order to perform at the next rung of the ladder you are climbing. A tested and proven mentor can help you to begin cultivating the talents that you will need long in advance of when the day comes. This person may even be able to help you reduce stress and anxiety in your job by providing you with a listening and understanding ear for your challenges. In short, that time you carve out of your busy schedule to catch up with a mentor may ultimately prove to be the longer-enduring key to your success when you are taking stock on the totality of your career later on.
Making The Right Choice
If you are unsure on who might be a good mentor, spend some time researching options in your field, with an eye toward individuals who have retired or downscaled their business over the last few years. This will help ensure that they have some time and bandwith to commit to the relationship, while still having a good grasp of current developments and “what’s hot” in your particular field of choice.
You can establish a list of a few good potential contacts to diversify your odds of landing on a good match. (You might say the same approach applies from your dating days!) When you reach out to them, you can stress a low-commitment and painless experience by proposing it take place over lunch or coffee as a way to learn more on development in their field and learn from their area of expertise. Believe it or not, many folks who may seem out of reach would be more than flattered to be approached as a potential mentor, so don’t sell yourself short: pursue someone that you truly want to emulate and feel that you could learn some valuable wisdom from.
Making The Most of It
In order to make the relationship as mutually beneficial as possible, it is advised to set expectations and goals early on. What exactly do you hope to get out of the relationship and learn? How often do you need to meet to feel like the collaboration is productive? And on the flip side, what will your mentor get out of the experience that will allow them to continue to grow as well?
This is why it all begins with using your time productively, beginning with the very first meeting. Don’t just waltz into the meeting. I am always amazed at how many young people will think nothing of requesting time over coffee to talk – and arrive to the discussion with little or no agenda or even an idea of what they are seeking to get out of the conversation. Not preparing is obviously a waste of time for the mentor and rude – but it is just as egregious to be wasting the mentee’s own time. After all, the rules of compound investing apply to your time as well. You need to be investing wisely and heavily early on in order to see large results for your career down the line. Demonstrate to them early on that you are sometimes who asks (thoughtful) questions and has a plan in place to learn from their answers and continue to grow professionally.
Setting these goals and expectations in advance will be a welcome sign to the mentor that you respect their time and are approaching this partnership from a place of thoughtfulness and intent.
Do you see how you could benefit from having a mentor? Or have you served as a mentor to others? What strategies can help ensure that the mentor-mentee relationship is most beneficial for both parties in your situation?
Be to explore the power for you of having a quality mentor in your life. Ask someone and they are surely to accept your invitation.
You can also learn more by visiting my website: tonyneumeyer.com and registering to receive free trainings articles and more. Also subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Facebook. You can get your copy of The 7 Minute Millionaire and check out my other books here: https://tonyneumeyer.com/books/.
